Tomorrow is my birthday. I used to enjoy my birthday, but I really don't any longer. And no, it's not for the reasons you might think. See, I don't mind getting older - I will even proudly tell anyone who asks how old I am (41 tomorrow). Aging doesn't bother me in the least. So why wouldn't I like my birthday?
Well, I'll tell you. It's because it's just another day - just a day where I can get my hopes up that my husband will do something nice for me, or my friends will, or whatever - and generally those hopes are dashed each and every year. I try not to even think that's it's going to be different than any other day - but it's hard, because the world out there expects that birthdays are special. And I would like to feel special once in a while, you know?
Today my husband announced that he had no idea what to get me for my birthday. So now I have to either come up with something specific that he can either order from Amazon or buy at Walmart, or most likely I will get nothing. He's only known me for 13 years - how can I expect that he might have an inkling of what I like? Even though I try to suggest things when I see them throughout the year as gift ideas, he doesn't retain it.
Honestly, it's not about the gift, really. I just would like to feel like he's done something that is just for me. Not for the kids with a side benefit being that I can use it too (like our pool), but something specifically for me, that he actually took the time to think about, instead of just asking what I want.
I just want tomorrow to be something more that just another day - something more than a day spent watching the kids while he works in his office. More than feeling like I'm just a mom and housekeeper. But, I try not to get my hopes up - because if he can't even come up with a gift, there is no way he's going to make my day special.