Tuesday, May 15, 2012


There has been so much going on since I last posted.  Changes in me, mostly.  Changes in how I see God, how I see myself, and how I see the people and situations around me.  New ideas keep flowing through my mind, new understandings on what Jesus really accomplished, and just overall a shift in understanding for me. 

It's been an amazing time, but also difficult.  Shifting your understanding of things, especially when you think you "get it", is challenging.  I've started journaling on my computer because I really feel like I process through ideas better when I'm typing them out - and I also feel like God speaks more clearly to me, and then I have what He's saying written down so I can go back and process it.  Because I'm typically typing what's going on in me and with me on any given day, I figured maybe it would be a good time to get back to my blog - if I'm writing most every day anyway, why not blog about what I'm learning and how I'm growing?

So I'm going to start putting up what I'm learning periodically - maybe not every day to start off with, but expect to see something every few days or so.  I'm expecting to keep learning and growing as I do - and I hope it will inspire others as well.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Moving right along...

Man, I can't believe how God is moving in my life right now.  I just find it totally amazing, because it's not that long ago that I thought He needed to fix and change everything in order to release me to be who He's called me to be.  And now, nothing has really changed, but I've moved up into a leadership position (Prophet) in my church, not by my own doing, but by God's promotion of me; and NOTHING has changed.  My husband still doesn't believe, my kids are still tagged with the "autism" label, but I am in such a good place right now.  I'm learning and growing in my relationship with Him, I'm seeing things change and shift in our local church body that I've been "seeing" for several years now, and that is SO exciting for me.  I'm being given ideas of ways to teach the people around me how to walk in closer communion with God, how to hear His voice, and so much else it's amazing. 

The biggest thing for me right now is that people are starting to "catch" where God is taking us, but we've still got so many religious mindsets blocking full revelation of what God is trying to get across to us.  It makes me frustrated when people determine to hold on to their false constructs than to go forward with what God is showing us.  Not just showing me, but confirming both in His written Word and in His revealed Word for us today.  We get so tied up in knots trying to explain things, we desire so much to get a mental understanding of things, that we make up reasons as to why something happens, rather than trusting in the Word of God.  Hence the Cessationists.  I don't really understand why we do that - we say we trust in God, we believe His Word is truth, and then we make up reasons as to why we don't really believe the Bible to be the truth after all.  The great commission - we love it.  What does it tell us to do?   

Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” -Mathew 28:18-20 NLT 

So we see that part of the great commission was to teach the new disciples to obey everything Jesus commanded the original disciples to do.  What were some of the things He told them to do?  Let's look! 

Jesus sent out the twelve apostles with these instructions: ....Go and announce to them that the Kingdom of Heaven is near.  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received!  Matthew 10:5-8 NLT 

One day Jesus called together his twelve disciples and gave them power and authority to cast out all demons and to heal all diseases. Then he sent them out to tell everyone about the Kingdom of God and to heal the sick.  Luke 9:1-2 NLT

Heal the sick, and tell them, ‘The Kingdom of God is near you now.’ - Luke 10:9 NLT 

To me, it seems rather obvious that we, as the people of God, believers in Christ, should be going out and healing the sick and telling people about the Kingdom of God.  It's pretty clearly laid out if you look at it. And yet, as a church culture, we've come up with reasons why God doesn't heal any more, or why God won't heal someone through me, or why some people get healed and others don't.  We come up with tons and tons of reasons to not do what we've been told to do, instead of actually trusting God and stepping out in faith.

I personally am tired of it.  I'm especially tired of being in a church culture which gives voice to the idea that God heals, always wants healing, is a good God, etc., etc., and yet doesn't actually put their money where their mouth is.  Talking a good game doesn't accomplish anything unless you actually start pursuing the things you say you believe.  I can say I believe God heals and can heal through me, but unless I actually do the stuff like laying on of hands, anointing with oil, or even praying in faith for the sick, I am never actually going to see anyone healed through my belief alone.

For example, I can be given a gift by a close friend.  I have been told by the friend, who is someone I trust, that there is an iPod in the package, so I firmly believe that to be true.  But, if I never unwrap the package, never take the iPod out, and never use it, what good is it to me?  Sure, I have possession of an iPod.  I technically own an iPod, but it is of no use to me, not because it's not mine, but because I refuse to take hold of it and use it.  It is the same as not having the gift at all.  I can walk around all day and tell everyone I know that I have an iPod - which is absolutely true.  But I have not received the benefit of owning the iPod because I refuse to use it.

We treat the gifts of God in the exactly same manner - we talk about how He's made provision for something, and yet we do not take the action necessary to lay hold of it.  We say He's given us peace, and yet we do nothing to take it for ourselves like casting down the imaginations that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God.  We say that we have been given the ability to lay hands on the sick and see them recover - but we don't actually step out to do it because of our fear that people won't recover.  We say we have the joy of the Lord, and yet we allow every bad mood that crosses our mind to take control of us!

I want to walk in fullness of His truth, and do everything I can to appropriate and take for my own everything that God has for me.  And I want everyone else to want this as well!  Come, grab hold of what God has for you in Christ with me!  You can do it!


Monday, January 30, 2012

God IS Good!

I was just re-reading previous posts, and how I was feeling 6 months ago, compared to how I feel now.  It's amazing that God can take the longing of your soul and reward them in such an amazing way.  Specifically, I am now in leadership of our church, living out a continual life-in-Christ relationship, and still hungry for God, but pursuing Him with everything I have.  Have things that I thought needed to change actually change?  Nope - my husband still isn't a believer and my boys are still affected by autistic behaviors.  But, I'm happy, fulfilled, and excited about the life I'm living in Christ.  The "things" don't matter as much because I know God has answers for them - my boys ARE healed even if they aren't manifesting their healing yet, and my husband IS coming into the Kingdom because he's my spouse and there are promises to us for our households.  I feel peaceful about my life, and it's awesome!

Recently I've been up at the altar at church praying for people, laying on hands for sickness, and I've started to see people healed by the power of God!  God Rocks!

It's so amazing to actually see happen what we say we believe will happen.  My church is taking baby steps toward accessing all the Father has for us, but at least we're moving forward now instead of stagnating.  I've been named by other people in leadership into the Office of Prophet.  I know that there is a prophetic calling on my life, which is why I've been so frustrated with people in the past not "getting it" and feeling like an outcast.  But at the same time I wonder if I'm ready for the responsibility.  Of course, if they see me in this way I suppose that I'm functioning in it, so I should just accept it.  It doesn't make me uncomfortable, but at the same time I just don't want to get in over my head!

All in all, just seeing where God has taken me and what He's done over the last half year makes me excited to see where I'll be in another 6 months!

Karate, karate everyone!

My kids just tested for their orange and green belts, respectively.  That means that the oldest gets to wear a half-black uniform, so we opted to get black pants, because he's got all kinds of patches on his gi top, and I really didn't want to have to buy new patches and sew them to the new top.  Looking around, I found Karate Depot, which is a great site with free shipping if you order over $25!

These are the student bottoms we picked: Black Karate Pants which were on sale for $19.95.

We also got new white pants for my daughter, who is in a 000 size right now, but the pants are a bit snug in the waist, so I got her some 00's. I picked these out for her: Karate Pants by Macho which were ALSO on sale for $19.95.

In additions, my son outgrew the size of his foot gear for sparring, so we had to get that as well.  These were very cost effective: Kuma Kicks AND we were able to get them in red to match the rest of his sparring gear.

All in all, I'm really glad the kids like Karate, but I have to say they need to stop growing for a while so I don't need to get new uniforms and gear all the time!