So, here we go again. See, I've started a few blogs, that have fallen by the wayside. Each time I started I had an idea of what I was going to cover in those blogs, see? It was going to be solely Christian ministry, or solely parenting, or funny, or whatever. But each time I've given it up, mostly after a couple of posts, because it really wasn't about ME, it really wasn't about my life. It was about who I wanted to portray myself to be, rather than who I was. It was about trying to be the best me in my blog that I could be, rather than being real, being honest. And I couldn't make it work - I couldn't censor out those things that weren't pretty, or funny, or holy.
So, I'm trying again, except this time I'm just going to be me. I'll talk about my Christian walk, to be sure, but this isn't really a Christian blog. I'll talk about being a mommy, but it's not really a mommy blog. I'll talk about parenting two autistic sons, but it's not really a blog about autism. I'm going to just try to be real - try to talk about my life, my relationships, my spirituality, and my struggles to balance all those things and more. And when I fall down, when I miss it, when I am certainly "of the world" rather than just in it, then I'll be honest here. I'm going to try to be who I am, and show here my struggles and my triumphs, my highs and my lows, and maybe, just maybe, it will touch someone's life in a meaningful way. Maybe another mom of autistic kids won't feel alone. Maybe another Christian who struggles just like me to stay connected to God's will for their life will be comforted to know they aren't alone. Maybe just being honest in who I am will help someone else feel ok to be honest about themselves, as well. And maybe through this I can also learn to be ok with who I am. Who knows?